“Think it over. Think it under.”  Winnie the Pooh

Feelin a bit like Pooh today!  Two surgeon consultations complete, 1 more to go.  Lots to think about and lots to grapple with.  Being the PollyAnna that I tend to be, (which usually serves me well! ), I thought “oh I caught this thing early, my tests are all good, they’ll cut it out and I’ll go about my life”!  Not so fast toots!  There is this thing called level of speed of growth, and chances of it spreading later, and you want to be sure none of those bad things happen.  So, oh yeah…that’s why we invented radiation and chemotherapy!

OK, so here’s the thing I get to think about.  One surgeon, who I really really loved, Dr. Nathalie Johnson (best in Portland and a survivor herself), is really into a less drastic beginning.  She recommends that I do hormone therapy for 4 months, we test the cells along the way to be sure they’re not growing any faster than the current 34%, and then we’ll know so much more about these shitty cells that the surgery will be more productive.  Radiation is not a choice — unless I have a mastectomy which I really don’t need.  So, against everything I believe in, it appears that my boobs will definitely be radiated! It was explained to me so that it really doesn’t sound quite so horrible anymore. It’s very laser beam focused and is much less nuclear than it sounds. This will reduce the chances of the return of this invasion of the boobie snatchers (as my kids are now referring to it)! Based on the location of the tumor, I will, however lose my nipple. Maybe they can give me a cool tattoo in its place! A heart?! Time to get creative girlfriends! Your ideas are encouraged!

Chemotherapy. EEEEEEKKKKK!!! Ok – this was definitely NOT on my radar! We won’t know whether or not I need chemo, until they do a biopsy DURING the surgery. Unless during the hormone therapy, the tumor grows way faster than the current 34%. So…I have officially taken chemotherapy off of my “to do” list. I’m not even thinking about it. Thanks, Pooh – will be thinking this one UNDER! Nothing I can do about it. No decisions to make. Stash it away for another day, another lifetime. Maybe if I don’t think about it, it will magically go away somewhere past my dreams and into the world of bad thoughts. Poof! Gone!

Second surgeon, also highly recommended and acclaimed in Portland, is much more traditional and recommends surgery right away. Then radiation. Funny thing is, I’m a warm & fuzzy kind of person and the 1^st surgeon ended our meeting with a huge hug. Yep – I did the heart-to-heart hug on her! She hugged Evan too. This second surgeon nearly let me leave the office without even shaking my hand. Nice woman, very smart, very professional. Too doctorly and not enough humanly! Interesting what matters to some and what matters to others. Chemistry!

Couldn’t have gotten thru this day without #1 son. Yep – Evan sat thru these meetings, listened, took notes and asked questions for me. He got it all…better than I did. They lost me at radiation and chemotherapy! They lost me at genetic testing and sentinel node biopsy and oncotype DX tests.

So for those of you who know what all this means:

Nothing in lymph nodes…Yeah!

Estrogen receptor +3 – Good!

Progesterone Receptor +1 – Good!

Her-2-Neu = negative == GREAT!

Growth Rate = high (not so good, but 1 out of 5 ain’t bad!)

Tumor size = 3 cm = Stage 2 (whatever – it’s just a label!)

Off to boot camp – need to work through this shit. Then more thinking. Although the more I think the more I already know what I want to do, so it’s really just that I feel I should think about it. Or maybe, I’ll just listen to my instincts and go with what I feel. Seems to serve me well…