It’s all about the number NINE!  I need everyone reading this blog to visualize the NUMBER NINE from now until December 5th.  NINE is the score that I want to have from my biopsy — this will determine whether I continue with hormone therapy for 5 more months or whether I move down the dark vortex of chemotherapy.  As I’ve said before — not on my radar, not going there, no way, no how!  Or as they say in German — NEIN!

So I’m looking for the powers of my universal friends to manifest my desired outcome!  A score of NINE.

Interesting what NINE means in numerology…

The 9 lives in the world and understands the connections between all of mankind. It is a humanitarian, and sees no real difference between its neighbor next door and the person living in a very different culture and environment on the other side of the world. The 9 is the least judgmental of all numbers, the most tolerant and the most conscious.

How fascinating to me that my magical number is all about ” no judgement”!  How perfect that this is one of the Four Agreements — my most cherished book, my bible, my daily life lesson!  (It’s by Don Miguel Ruiz and I totally recommend it!)

Nine: The most tolerant and the most conscious!  It accepts everything and everyone as it needs to be and doesn’t push it’s own stuff onto others.  It moves through the world accepting and absorbing.  It doesn’t preach and it isn’t the maven.  It doesn’t bulldoze it’s way through others desires, but instead moves independently, transparently with all that it encounters.

What a lesson for life!  What a genuine way to live!  What would happen if we all lived like the Number Nine?  What would happen if we didn’t judge others because of their views on Jesus, the Saviour, Yahweh or Mohammed?  What would life be like if we didn’t gossip about how stupid she looks in that dress or what was she thinking with that haircut or he’s nice but he’s weird looking?  How much more would we enjoy life if we only talked authentically, if we shared in the joy of others instead of feeling jealousy, if we only spoke words of comfort and encouragement and kindness?

I’m liking this Number Nine!  I’m inspired and feeling giddy by the fact that this number holds so much meaning in every way for me.  I’m excited that this is my lucky number on this journey and that you’ll all feel this courage and love and tolerance as you visualize the Number 9 over the next few weeks.  Share your feelings!  Let me know what happens when you go to the place of NINE.  Let’s be in this place together!

(PS – here’s some more interesting info on the Number 9 — for those who are mathematically curious! )

http://www.numerology.com/numerology-numbers/9

Meeting with a medical oncologist is scheduled for HALLOWEEN!  So guess who shows up to talk to me about the results of my Oncyl DX test and the next steps in the erasing of my cancer…Willy Wonka himself!  Are you thinking what I’im thinking?  Totally surreal, to say the least!  Literally, for one hour I sat across the coffee table from this looney, elf-ish looking grown up!  I had looked online to see what Dr. Anderson looked like and read his biography before making the appointment.  So for the entire time, as I was concentrating on words like chemotherapy, danger of spreading, estrogen, testosterone, lymphnodes, adrenal glands, risks of hormone therapy — I kept looking into his eyes and focusing on his character, trying to find the real doctor inside.  I knew what I was looking for — a middle-aged, bald guy — but for the life of me, I could NOT find him!  At times, I even burst into giggles, just watching him project his medical theories!

At the end of it all, here are the results:  The test proved somewhat inconclusive, yet it is totally conclusive in my  mind.  The range on an Oncyl DX test goes from zero (no chemotherapy) to 100 (for sure chemotherapy).  My number is a 23, which at first when he said it, I jumped up and was excited that I had passed the test with flying colors.  Not so fast girl — 23 is actually in the middle, gray area of the results.  16 would have been optimum in saying that almost totally without a shadow of a doubt, no chemotherapy needed.  Turns out there’s lots of grey area in medicine!  I always knew that, but now I am reminded.  So, it’s really my decision.  Well, I guess that makes sense — it is my body and my life!  So I have decided to do hormone therapy for 30 days and am going today to sign up with a clinical trial group called the Alliance Trial.  I’ll let you know if I am randomized for either the pill, the injection or both.  Tomorrow I begin the day at 7:30 AM with a baseline biopsy and then another one in 30 days — this will determine that the hormone therapy is working and that the tumor is shrinking.  And if this happens, then it shows the doctors that if there is anything else that has microscopically escaped into my body, that the results are the same on those nasty little cells.

I feel like I won the Golden Ticket!  I plan to enjoy the wedding of my BFF’s daughter in Chicago and then spend a cozy, joyful, free-spirited Thanksgiving in Indy with family.  All of us Butlers in one place again!  I don’t have to think about any of this annoying cancer stuff after this week.  I just have to do the process and BELIEVE in the results.  I believe!  I believe!  I believe!